Thursday, July 18, 2013

Pockets are from the Devil

We don't know exactly who invented pockets, but if I could meet them I would really like to punch them in the face. 

My books say that pockets have been around since the 1500's, so it's going to be hard for me to figure out exactly who invented them and even harder for me to punch that person in the face.

If you've been following along, you know I'm attempting to sew my own skirt.  (Check out my first post about that by clicking here.)  Well, I've run into a snag.  That snag is called "pockets."

Why do we need pockets, really?  I can keep everything I want in my purse.  Plus, if you put too much in your pockets then it makes your legs look all bulgy.  Also, it's a waste of material.  If we take all of the material that people have used to make useless pockets and put it together, I bet we could clothe a whole third world country.  I'll call it "The Pocket Plan" and win a Nobel Prize.

Unfortunately I can't start that project today, because my mom is insisting that I make pockets for my new skirt.  She says I'll regret it if I don't (which totally isn't true).  You might think making a pocket would be easy.  I thought so at first too.  It's not.  It has to have a curved edge to go in front (because heaven forbid we have a straight-edged pocket), and it has to do all of these folds in the back to make it functional but also lie flat.  It's advanced fabric origami. 

Maybe the Devil himself invented pockets.  I'd believe it.  He thought to himself, "Ha ha HA!  This is a brilliant plan!  I will encourage people to make pockets, which will waste loads of material.  It will also frustrate people to the point where they give up their seamstress dreams!  Hundreds of attempts people will make at becoming productive members of society have just been thwarted!  Also, people can keep all kinds of evil things in these pockets...knives, money (the root of all evil), pictures of crime scenes, those weird little porn cards you get on the streets of's perfect!" 

I really think it would be better for all involved if I just skip the pockets.  I've tried about five times now, ripped out seams every time, and had to start again.  I've gotten nowhere on this skirt after hours of working on it.  I don't even have two pieces sewn together! My mom doesn't even get how to do it, and she's awesome at sewing.  She says that the pattern is really poorly written.  I say that pockets are from the devil.  You know, one of those tomato/tomahto things.

If I ever finish this skirt, I'm going to be PUMPED.  Also, I will never again attempt to make pockets.

1 comment:

  1. You are so funny! I love that you are taking on this project. I am going to be taking a sewing class starting in August and cannot wait to learn how to sew! I'm glad you posted this that way I have a heads up on how difficult pockets are once we get to that. :)