Saturday, March 15, 2014

How Well Do I Know My Husband?

Everyone knows that a mark of a good wife is that she knows her husband well.  In July of 1954, the Ladies Home Journal published a quiz in order for women to see how well they know their husbands.  I figured I would take it too, to see how I measure up.  Here is a picture of the quiz, but I will rewrite the questions as well for easier reading:

1. Do you know positively what...
      Color he thinks most becomes you?  Ummm...  I'm not sure that Rex actually cares what color I wear.  He doesn't notice fashion much.  So I guess my answer to this question is "no, I don't know."  Blast.  I'm not off to a good start.
       Are his three favorite desserts?  Homemade pie, shamrock shakes, and homemade snickerdoodles.
       He wants to do when he retires?  Sit on his front porch with his bloodhound and his gun, surveying his hunting land.
       Kind of vacation he likes?  Anything rustic and low-stress.  He doesn't like airports, so flying places is not his favorite.
       His true religious views are?  Uh, YES.  Probably summed up best by Jesus's words in John 14:6: "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."  I even know Rex's definition of life success, which is "Bring as much glory to God as you possibly can, and have as much fun as possible along the way."  So ha.  Do I get a bonus point for knowing both?  I have a quick comment, though - why would someone get married without knowing her husband's religious views?  That would be really strange.  And why does this question come after what color he likes best on me and his favorite desserts??  These questions had better not be in priority order...
      Trait he likes most about you?  Physical or non-physical?  We'll go with non-physical.  I think he likes my sense of humor, which is good because I couldn't be with someone who didn't get it.  I also think he likes my cooking.
       Habit of yours that most annoys him?  Hmmm...  he really hates when I use any of the plethora of pet names I've tried to invent over the years.  He just wants to be called "Rex."  How boring.  He also hates when I refer to his underwear as "panties."  So the sentence, "Rex, honey-bear, would you like me to wash any of your panties?"  would really drive him nuts.
       First attracted him to you?  I really don't know.  I guess I lose points on this one.

Do you know positively whether he...
      Likes or dislikes your friends?  Yes.  For sure.  And I'm positive which ones he likes and which he doesn't, ha ha.
       Loves or doesn't love you?  What kind of a question is that?!  That's so sad!  What if a woman knew all of the other answers to this quiz, but got to this one and was like, "Hmmm...tough one..."  That's horrible.  Yes, I'm sure my husband loves me.  He tells me all the time, in a million different ways.

Do you know positively why he...
       Is friends with his best friend?  Assuming the best friend can't be me...  I think he's friends with his best friend JB because he and JB endured the entire traumatic experience of physical therapy school together, and that somehow bonds people.
       Likes or dislikes certain relatives?  Ha ha... I like this question.  And yes, I do know which relatives he likes and dislikes, but I'm definitely not publishing that online lest I get him and me both in trouble.
       Is or isn't proud of you?  Again, sad question!  Yes, Rex is proud of me.
       Does or doesn't like to talk to you?  What??  These poor housewives!  Whose husband doesn't like to talk to them?  Like, "Make me a sandwich, woman!  Now go sit in the corner because I don't want to talk to you!"  Did that actually happen?  Is this one of those questions that is supposed to be really easy and boost your point score for when you didn't know why he was first attracted to you?  That's what I'm going to tell myself.
Okay.  Time to score myself.  I get two points for each "no," one point for each where I wasn't sure, and zero points for yes.  Hold on while I add this up.

My score is 5 (two points each for the "what attracted him to you" and "what color does he think looks best on you," and one point for why he's friends with his best friend because I'm not positive on that one.)  Here is my prognosis from the article:  "If you score four or lower, you either know your husband very well or think you do.  A score of 5 or 6 is average, but with a score of seven or more you are either not observing your husband as you should or you and he have very poor communication.  Spend more time with him, watch his reactions to what you say and do, and you may get better acquainted with him."

Alright, I'm average.  I guess I can handle that.  I'm going to quiz him on all of these plus a million other random facts tonight, though, so that next time I stumble across one of these types of quizzes I'll look like a rock star wife.

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