I was reading through Good Housekeeping's Guide to Successful Homemaking (1961 ed.), and I came to a page that talked about washing your blankets and comforters.
I wash my sheets, but I tried to think of the last time I washed my comforter and I couldn't remember it. Well, THAT's a discomforting thought! What kind of nasties are lurking in my comforter?! Dead skin cells, dust bunnies, sweat, hair that fell off of my head months ago... EW. Gross. How have I been sleeping in that? I was disgusted with myself. I clearly needed Good Housekeeping's help to de-germ my comforter. I sat down to read the directions, however, and they started out trickier than I thought:
1. You must dry-clean silk faille, satin, taffeta, or acetate spreads.
What's an acetate spread? It sounds like a chemist's toxic peanut butter or something. What's faille? I don't think my comforter is made out of any of those things, so I decided to read on: 2. Use the following procedure for washable fabrics such as chenille, candlewick, corduroy, crocheted, and seersucker. Again - what?? Seersucker? That sounds like something out of a horror movie. Candlewicks? You can make bedspreads out of those? But what if your house catches on fire? (then again, I don't know of any fireproof comforters...BUT THAT WOULD BE SUCH A COOL INVENTION!) I digress. Anyway here's the real issue - how did cotton not make this list? My comforter is made out of cotton. Wasn't cotton around in 1961? I figured it would fall under the category of "washable fabrics," so I decided to proceed.
"Shake the spread to remove lint and loose dirt."
Check. At least there wasn't much of that.
"In a nonautomatic washer, fill the tub as you would for a full load."
I do not comprehend the idea of a "nonautomatic washer." My foremothers are saints for having those. I skipped this section and moved on to the directions for the richie riches with automatic washers:
"If you have an automatic washer, follow the manufacturer's directions. Remove the spread after washing and dry in dryer."
WHAT? After the two paragraphs I read about the nonautomatic washers and all of the bazillions of fabrics I may or may not wash, my reward is to read the 1961 version of essentially "just wash it like you would wash anything else, you weirdo"?! Well, that makes me feel downright pouty. I wanted a new vintage-y way to wash my comforter. I guess I could pretend that my sink is a nonautomatic washer, but that seems a bit too contrived. I guess old-school and new-school housewives agree: if you can take shortcuts and have something done automatically, just do it.