Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Rule I Won't Follow

I should have made a disclaimer at the beginning of this project.  I didn't realize I needed it, so I didn't put it in my first post.  I'm adding it now, though, because this is my project and I make the rules.  Here's my disclaimer:

I will not follow any of the rules in my textbooks that could cause physical harm, illness, or death.

Are you cool with me adding that?  After all, if I die then I can't write any more posts.  It might make my project slightly less authentic, but that's okay with me.

Let me explain why I need the disclaimer.  I was going to clean my kitchen today, so I consulted one of my books to see if there were any applicable rules I could use.  I found a section titled "Kitchen Counter Tops."  I figured that one would be good, so I read on to see what I would have to do.  Here's what it said:

"Save that surface!  A nick here, a mar there - soon the top of your range, drainboards, and other surfaces look worn.  Protective mats are the answer, and there is a wide choice of types.  Particularly suited to use on the range are the asbestos mats with brightly colored or gleaming metallic finish."

I'm sorry...did you just tell me to use an ASBESTOS mat?  What the dickens is that?  I realize this book was published in 1961, but a few years after that asbestos was proven to cause lung cancer.  Now entire buildings are condemned because of the dangers of asbestos, and you want me to put it next to my food?!  No thank you.

I can picture it now:

Husband:  What's for dinner, dear?
Wife:  Chicken and potatoes, with a side of cancer.
Kids: Yum yum!  Thanks mom!  Good thing you got that asbestos mat!
Husband:  You're the best, honey.  *kiss*
Wife: Good thing I studied up on how to be a good housewife!


  1. I am glad you are aware of current health concerns. Try to find some pretty plastic surface until we learn that plastic is dangerous:)

  2. I remember a particular episode of mis-hearing in my household.

    Me: "Mom, what are you making for dinner?"
    Mom (I thought, said..): "Chicken Asbestos."
    Me: "Chicken Asbestos?"
    Andy: "What's that?"
    Me: "I'm not sure... but I'm pretty sure it could give us mesothelioma."